Thursday 19 April, 2012
Since I didn’t wanted to bother you with everyday nullities I haven’t written for a way too long time I know and I’m truly sorry about that. Hopefully you can forgive me my faux-pas.
How are you doing? I hope you’re fine and have a good time; while being busy as usual. 😉
After hours of thinking and clearing my mind I’m sitting here now, listening to ‘Nocturne’ by Schiller (on infinite loop) and try to share what crosses my mind at the moment, so you’ll be able to understand me.
As you know, every now and then has ‘you-know-who’ teased me with sweet little things from which he knows perfectly well that they never miss their target. This was so far so good. But lately he did something different. So different from everything he had done before that it took my breath away and left me literally speechless for a while. I even couldn’t sleep last night, for my mind won’t come to peace.
To be honest, I was, in the most positive sense, kinda flabbergasted at the very first moment. This unexpected surprise touched me deeply and even made me cry. Because it was so overwhelming and for sure the most beautiful gift of love I ever got so far.
Yet I’m confused, since it makes me wonder what his intention is. I mean as you know, he is the first and until now the only man who has managed successfully to conquer my heart, a bit at a time during the past 9 years. He was even able to tear down a huge part of my inner protection wall. God only knows how he did this.
Damn, if this man continues like this, I’m so gonna fall for him. But that would be totally crazy, wouldn’t it? Especially since I’m so afraid to ever fall in love again, thanks to my history. A fact that has raised quite often an escape reflex in me over the past year, when I realized how close he was getting to my crazy heart. But since one cannot run and hide from the own feelings, it is no option for me to just stay away from him. Now I can’t do it anyway as I can no longer deny that he already means much more than he should to me and that I would miss him badly.
It’s strange; this, whateverer-it-is, between us grew so slowly. Just the way it should be, when something is meant to last. Hmm…
I’d really like to know what he truly wants. The way I reckon up his character, he’s not that kind of man who plays games with the feelings of other people because he knows only too well, how badly someone can get hurt.
I guess I just have to wait and see, right? What do you think?
Any wise advice for me besides of being patient, mon cher?
Oh mon dieu! It’s again in the middle of the night…
I was supposed to sleep since a few hours as I have to be up to the mark in the morning. Hopefully I can identify myself in the mirror after the wake-up call from my alarm-clock. 😀
Have a nice evening and feel yourself embraced in a warm-hearted VyRTual hug.
Please take good care of yourself.
Good night, sleep tight; don’t let the bedbugs bite, later. 😉
Lots of love, @}—>—-